Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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