i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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