genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
