Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
