Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
