super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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