i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
