Will you blow on my dice?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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