i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
