K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
