Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
