Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
