So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
