ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize