Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I forget how to act sober
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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