You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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