Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
