Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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