It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
