She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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