We're facebook friends in real life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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