these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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