Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
