Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
