hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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