Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
