I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drake has all the answers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
