He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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