So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
