Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
