Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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