I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
