Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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