I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
