I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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