we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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