He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
