My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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