Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
