This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
