I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
