I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize