thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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