Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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