i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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