a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
