the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Who died my cat blue again?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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