someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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