Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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