Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
