fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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