Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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