Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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