Sacagawea was the original milf.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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