Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
