all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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