Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize