Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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