at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
