Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
