you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
